The Funeral of A Vampire

Before his funeral he gave clear instructions, ‘When I die burry my body far away from my next door neighbour and when you bury me let my head face where the sun is setting.’ Everyone around him nodded. He told everyone he would die on Wednesday afternoon and that before his death there would be two bulls fighting, one would be wounded to death the other one would survive. Nobody believed what Taulo Gomani said. Taulo Gomani in his mid-sixties was a joker and people could not buy his jokes anymore. When he heard the sound of an ambulance he knew the doctor had just arrived. Well the doctor arrived, he examined Gomani’s chest, listened to his heart beat and soon after it was proclaimed, ‘You are well, alive and kicking. I don’t understand why you called the ambulance.’ ‘Doctor, I am going to die on Wednesday. I told them not to call the ambulance but my friend. I also don’t understand why they called you.’ Gomani yawned. But when his mouth was wide open the doctor saw a long tooth like iron steel, it was the longest tooth he had ever seen in his life. ‘Mr Gomani, how many of these long teeth do you have?’ ‘Actually I was born with forty two teeth.’ Gomani gestured to the doctor to look into his mouth. The doctor counted one tooth at a time and when he finished counting there were forty two teeth. Doctor Elvin from Ekwendeni Hospital shook his head not believing what he saw, ‘surely you need a dentist.’ ‘I have been to many dentists but none has managed to help my situation.’ Gomani said. ‘I will make a referral for you to go to the biggest hospital regarding your teeth.’ Dr Elvin was more sympathetic. But Gomani smiled, ‘No thanks, doctor, don’t trouble yourself. I have grown up with these teeth without any problem. Am told there are only three people born with this situation in a thousand years. I feel so lucky to have them.’ Dr Elvis was about to go and he decided to shake Gomani’s hand. He held his hand for a moment and at that point he felt it in his palm as if there was an electric current, he only felt normal when he pulled his hand away from Gomani. Dr Elvin left sooner than he came. Wednesday came nothing happened. The morning was as usual bright with sunshine licking the banks of Rukuru River. All day people made fun about how Gomani lied about his death. They saw him walking, strolling along the streets and they all waved at him. At lunch time Gomani ate lunch and went for a nap. It was a deep nap and he dreamt that the bulls were fighting. When he woke up people had gathered all around his house. He looked up, ‘what is this?’ ‘Well the bulls fought as you said.’ The crowd yelled. ‘Therefore it means am dead.’ Gomani said but when he wanted to sit down he fell accidentally and suddenly the crowd witnessed him rolling on the floor and breathing his last one. At the burial people ignored his wish. They buried Gomani near his next door neighbour and his head faced the east instead of the west where the sun sets. It didn’t last a week before strange things began to happen. In the morning of November people walked to their fields to farm but along the way back when it was a little bit dark they saw a large bird like the size of a man just next to the borehole. Everyone ran fast home leaving hoes and tools behind. One day three young people came harvesting fruits, they passed near the grave where Gomani was buried. They walked quietly in respect of the dead. Suddenly they heard a sound of footsteps coming from behind. The boys started running. They ran and panted until they heard nothing but when they looked back it appeared they had not gone any further from the graveyards. They suddenly heard,’ I am not happy here where you buried me next to my neighbour. Go and tell them.’ The boys were terrified at the voice from the graveyards, they ran faster with a speed of an antelope fleeing a lion and the sound of their heels thumping the soil was the only sound at night . The boys ran faster and until they reached home. When they told elders the following morning about the voice they heard from the graveyards no one believed them. One day there was a wedding. People saw a man dressed like Gomani in safari suit. People thought he was a distant relative of the family having a wedding. People tried to greet him. The man did not respond but later on disappeared when the crowd were pointing at him. Later on that day when everyone was dancing that Gomani lookalike arrived in the hall, he started dancing but when he smiled the long teeth like iron steel came out. He whispered into the ears of one guest, ‘Am not gone yet. I have come back to settle down the dispute with my neighbour.’ Then he disappeared.